Then I wasn’t there…

I was sitting talking to Jasmine and then I wasn’t there….. We had spent the most marvellous long weekend with 3 other families in a 12th Century Manor House. We had remarked how it seemed like the 1940s as all the families picnicked together in the dunes. We had swollen the ranks of the church opposite to 8 souls, including the vicar.

I was sitting talking to Jasmine and then I wasn’t there….. We had been home in Isleworth for about 40 minutes, I had taken the bags upstairs and had just sat down on the sofa to chat with Jasmine. She was talking. Lily and Arun were upstairs.

And then I wasn’t there anymore… My eyes had rolled back I wasn’t breathing and I had no pulse. I was to all intents and purposes dead. Apparently Jasmine screamed, Arun rushed down and did mouth to mouth on me, Lily phoned the ambulance. I came round to find myself on the floor in the recovery position surrounded by paramedics.

During the next 4 days in hospital, I went from being utterly terrified to being very, very relieved. I had terrible thoughts and I prayed an awful lot for God to keep me alive for my children’s sake. Since then it’s been a struggle. One thing has kept me strong and it’s the fact that if God had wanted me to die then I would have died; but he didn’t, and I am here and I
am utterly grateful for every day that I have.

My medication makes me lethargic and downright depressed. My condition has been discovered. I am alive, taking joy in every day, surrounded by good people. Everyone at church has been so incredibly supportive and I thank you all. I especially thank Tom for such unconditional and loving support.

I was sitting talking to Jasmine and then I wasn’t there… But I am here.

STEVE DRAY