Be Bigger, Stronger, Wiser And Kind

Ihad always been keen to attend the Circle of Security course so when Joanna said she was running another one I was quick to sign up. As a mother of a three and a half year old boy struggling to understand the occasional (ha who am I kidding, they were regular!) tantrums I had a lot of hope pinned on the eight week course.

Seven of us attended, all with children of a similar age. Joanna created the perfect setting in which we could share our parenting stories, laugh with one another, nurture friendships and realise we were not alone on this journey.

The course taught us, with many visual aids, the importance of providing our children with a secure base in which they could go out to explore and a safe haven for them to come back to, thus making up the circle. It also showed us the importance of self-reflection, identifying emotions that were difficult for us and helping our children to sort through their own emotions.

What came as a revelation for me was the focus on being a ‘good enough’ parent, the course wasn’t expecting you to become the perfect parent. The importance was to make sure your children felt secure and realising all behaviour is a form of communication.

So, now that I have completed the course has it helped me? Categorically YES!! When my son is having a melt down over something that seems trivial to me I now take a step back, consider where he is on the ‘Circle’ and what he needs from me. Or when my 10 month old daughter crawls over for a quick cuddle I know she is coming in for me to fill her emotional cup before then crawling off exploring again.

The parenting mantra “Be Bigger, Stronger, Wiser and Kind” will continue to ring out in my mind when I’m struggling and remind me of the principles of the Circle of Security so, hopefully, I can at least be a ‘good enough’ parent for my precious children.

(Plus Joanna’s cakes were delicious!)

Anna Marshall