Brian Prepares for Hospital

Since I had an operation for bladder cancer back in 2006, I’ve been regularly monitored. It was about a year ago that my consultant noticed warning bells that my prostate may be partially cancerous. In November, I had a biopsy. The result came through in December and confirmed this was the case.

I was referred to another Consultant, who carefully explained the options. I decided the right one was keyhole surgery to remove the prostate and I’m having that on 30th January. The prognosis is good – over 90% for a full recovery. It’s likely to be uncomfortable after the operation and I have to take it easy for at least a month. (I’m still waiting for the results of a full body bone scan, but as nothing was raised at a pre-med appointment I had last week, I’m assuming nothing serious was discovered; but it’ll obviously be good to have that confirmed.)

When I first heard, there was a sense of shock and indeed anger. After 2006, it felt unwelcome to have to go through it again. For the first few days, it remained near the front of my mind that I am growing older and that my body is not working as well as it has in the past. I found myself being reminded that I will die, that it could happen soon.

I guess there never is a good time for these things. Now feels a bad time. The recent storms have done damage at home and so I am feeling pressure to have to sort things before I go in to hospital. In the middle of the mire of all this, it’s hard to do what I really want, ie have some space and quiet to get myself ready. I’m someone who is active, a doer. I’m having to learn I need first to stop, to still myself and centre myself on God. As I do this, I am knowing Christ’s peace which passes understanding.